Unit Manual

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Unit Manual

Post  Kooh on Fri Apr 23, 2010 5:29 pm

o.o After reading many owners guides to *insert name here* on fan-fiction.com (hehe ow o;) I wrote one for Kooh. :3 Kinda hoping others would as well. Kinda had the idea that fic writers that dont know someone too well can read them and know a bit about them.

Basic Information

Name: Kooh (She will also respond to “Kooh bear” “Kooh kooh pants” “Trap”.)

Age: 16

Date of Manufacture: Dec 07, 2007

Place of Manufacture: Chaotic Dragons Co, Samich land

D.O.B: Dec 07, 2007

Height: Won’t stand still

Weight: Cant stop floating enough to stay still on the scale

Your KOOH unit will come with the following

1 large glucose syringe (Not recommended if someone in your family has diabetes. Simply order a different syringe from our store online!)

1 set of doctors robes

10 pairs of costumes (Accessories included)

20k cookies (Oreos, Peanut butter, cheese flavored included)

12 strawberries

WARNING: Do not tamper with the strawberries. The KOOH unit will use the strawberries to lure any KAORUNIWA unit that is nearby.

Removing your KOOH unit from her box
Be cautious to come near the box if it is shaking uncontrollably. The KOOH unit is attempting to get out of the box and if you stand nearby you might be stabed with a syringe. Easy ways to get your KOOH out of the box is to yell that a KAORUNIWA unit is getting raped and watch her eat the box from inside out (Not recommended because your KOOH unit will have bad “tummy” aches later on.) Or tell her you’ll cook potatoes if she comes out calmly.

Programming

Your KOOH unit is programmed to do any of the following

Babysitter: This unit is great with kids. But make sure to not tell her where the sugary foods are. Unless you want your kids to be crying when you come home because she has eaten all of it.

Doctor: Manage to rip your arm off to a dozen hippopotamoose due to your CHIGETSU unit? (whom you carelessly left unsupervised) Don’t worry! Your KOOH unit will regenerate your arm back on! But we recommend you going to a hospital because it will be cheaper than the KOOH unit trying to get 10k from your pockets.
Retrieve: Does your social life suck? Do your friends not like to hang out with you? Don’t worry the KOOH unit will go on a retrieve mission and bring all of your friends (and some hobo’s) to your house against their will! Just ask the KAORUNIWA unit!

Ball of sunshine: Upset that your KAZAA unit has stolen all of your pets? The KOOH unit will be sure to get you happy in no time! She will take you on dangerous journeys across Mt Fuji!

Your KOOH unit will come with the following modes

Happy (Default)

Random (Default)

Egotistic (Locked)

Angry (Locked)

Protective (Locked)

The happy and random unit is the default mode of your KOOH unit. Even if you pelt her with dead cows she will still be that famous ball of ecstasy. If you want to strengthen her happiness it is recommended that you purchase a MJRN, LIAH, SANDRY and KAORUNIWA unit.

The Egotistic mode is the hardest to unlock, if your KOOH unit comes in contact with a GRISSELLE unit. You’d better kiss that mode bye bye since it will never be unlocked.

The anger mode be unlocked by doing the following
Take your KOOH units cookies and any other junk food type and only give her vegetables. Wait for about a day and come into your house and watch your house be destroyed!

The protective mode can be unlocked easily if you have a KAORUNIWA unit nearby. Simply do as what was told in the removing your unit section. Scream that a KAORUNIWA unit is depressed or other wise wants to play Left 4 Dead. Your KOOH unit will buy a lot of things and take candy from children to give to the KAORUNIWA unit. Left 4 Dead is a safer method because she will not give you a run for your money and will be content for hours.

Relationships with other units

SANDRY: KOOH’s mother whom she loves very much. Do not be alarmed if countless amounts of men enter your home. They are not for you but for the KOOH unit. The SANDRY unit will try to find a good man (Or FINEASSMANDAMN!) for your KOOH. Also if you notice a shortage of chocolate, do not disturb their “Girl’s Night Out”. Sometimes “star nipples” will be heard. It is due to the SANDRY unit showing your KOOH unit a Len Kagamine video.

KAORUNIWA: KOOH’s brother/son/daughter/best friend. The KAORUNIWA unit is not a woman. We at Chaotic Dragons Co. are sure that KAORUNIWA is 95% male. If a nearby pedophile is around we recommend that you buy Glad bags from our store. Due to the KOOH unit being in protective mode and will stab the pedo into oblivion with the glucose syringe. Countless times she will demand that you buy her yaoi and strawberries to lure a KAORUNIWA unit to do her bidding. If KOOH shows depressing moods we highly recommend buying a KAORUNIWA unit to get KOOH back into tip top shape.

MJRN : She will be referred to as “Gram” “Grandma” “Gramalicious” “Mj” “Flying squirrel”. If you expose them both there might be a fit of uncontrollable giggles from the MJRN unit due to the KOOH unit saying random things.

LIAH: Her aunt that brought her into the Chaotic Dragons guild. Sometimes referred to as “squirrel”. Both will poke at the MJRN unit trying to coax her with ideas of watagatapitus berries. Your KOOH unit will also try to come up with idea’s to give to the LIAH unit.

KAZAA: Both of these gutter minded units will talk about countless things, ranging from video games to 69ing raccoons.

LUCXENE: Both units get together well. KOOH will listen to LUCXENES facts and complaint that both of them have to go out and rob dairy queens and pizza huts and place them in their area.

Cleaning
Your KOOH unit is capable of cleaning herself. If you are a male and ask to bathe her, be prepared to get attacked by a nearby SANDRY unit. Your KOOH unit also will clean around the house too, due to her not liking messy areas.

Feeding

Please have atleast 20 meals ready for this unit. If you feed under 20 meals she will go into a uncontrollable frenzy and steal food from nearby homes.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Hey what gives? I prepared 20 meals just as told and she wont eat any of it!

A: Uh oh seems your unit has gone into depression. Quickly purchase a SANDRY or KAORUNIWA unit!

Q: Uh my unit has red hair and keeps yelling at lamps thinking their MJRN.

A: Oh geeze. We accidently sent you a AYAME unit. Quickly dispose of it or throw it in the middle of the ocean. (Seriously. We don’t want it back.)

Q: Im trying to get her into a mini skirt and crop top but she keeps refusing! It’s aggravating!

A: The hell is wrong with you? The KOOH unit will never wear those things and if you try to coax her into them, well you’ll be the one who ends up wearing them. She will also tell a SANDRY unit and you will die.

Q: My unit keeps staring at children is she a pedophile?

A: She is not a pedophile but she is daydreaming of having a child some day and a dog named Fru fru. (Don’t ask. We have no idea)

Q: Oh my god! My unit killed my brother who was yelling at a cat! OH MY GOD! SHES COMING AFTER ME TOO!

A: KOOH units aren’t too fond of people yelling at animals. Also were sorry to tell you but your screwed. Reprogramming couldn’t save you from her wrath. Don’t worry we’ll send you a get well card to your hospital room!

We hope you enjoy your time with your KOOH unit! (We will not pay for any damages done to your household or others.)
Have a nice day!
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Kooh
Branch Head - Cookie Dragons

Posts : 71
Join date : 2009-02-01
Age : 23
Location : NJ o.o

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Re: Unit Manual

Post  Kazaa on Sat Apr 24, 2010 12:29 am

lol very nice and fun idea heres mine, i might update it a bit more some other time.

Basic Information

Name: Kaza

Age: 19

Date of Manufacture: UNKNOWN

Place of Manufacture: Chaotic Dragons Co., somewhere in the forest(those who know are either dead or have their tongues cut out and their hands cut off)

D.O.B: UNKNOWN

Height: Just under 6ft

Weight: true weight unknown, always comes up as 200-300 cause of the weapons he will not put down.

Your KAZA unit will come with the following

1 Blessed Longbow(don’t ask, we don’t know where he gets all the arrows from either)

2 short swords

1 black trench coat

1 wolf fursuit

1 toy bone

1 transformation generator(he constantly changes animal forms)

69 sausages

(Optional) weapons set, includes(not recommended for most users, non-refundable):

10 frag grenades

1 ak 47

1 dragonov sniper rifle

1 pistol

1 assault rifle with scope

1 combat shotgun

20 flash grenades

30 throwing knifes

Lots of ammo for all of the above

WARNING: All weapons will never again be retrievable once given to KAZA unit.
Do not allow your own weapons near KAZA unit, they will never been seen again out of his arms.
If you are male, always lock your door when you sleep…always
If ammo is constantly being restocked for your KAZA unit, check your bank accounts immediately
Do not ever try to take his weapons, you will either be pinned to the ceiling or dead.
Do not ever pull his tail not matter what
Never abuse animals around you KAZA unit, unless you like the most horrific death possible
Do not take his sausages away, your arm will be ripped off.
Do not touch his toy bone, the punishment is way worse than taking his sausages

Removing your KAZA unit from his box
Be careful when opening your box, if you hear growling, get a stack of sausages immediately, must be cooked. If it is quite open slowly and always keep your head away from the opening to avoid a possible arrow in the forehead.

Programming

Your KAZA unit is programmed to do any of the following

Hunter: He is a great hunter and will easily come back with plenty of food, but do not waste any or you may become prey yourself.

Guard: He can protect any single point as long as you give him the tools he needs. No one will come in or out without permission.

Entertainer: He will always be willing to entertain some guys. though be sure to warn that their rears may not feel the same for a while.

Your KAZA unit will come with the following modes

furry(Default)

Perv(Default)

Singing(Default)

Rave(locked)

Protective(locked)

hungry(locked)

Cuddly(locked)

Annoyed(locked)

Angry(locked)

Random(locked)

Furry and Pervy are the defaults of your KAZA unit. He will always be able to take anything you say and make it totally wrong. Also 90% of the things he says will be somehow sexual. You can enhance his perversion by bringing any male around him. He will always act furry and you can change the way he acts if you purchase him new fursuits.

Your KAZA unit is know to randomly break into song and dance, to make sure to always keep him happy give him plenty of music to listen to

Rave mode is unlocked by giving your KAZA unit a set of glow sticks and turning on some techno and will always cheer up a depressed unit. WARNING: his clothes may disappear.

Protective is easily unlocked if anyone he likes of cares for are in danger. All threats will either be stopped in their tracks or eliminated permanently.

Hungry is unlocked if you don’t not supply enough food. When in this mode your KAZA unit will bite anything in site, including you. It is highly recommended to feed him meat soon. Sausages are the best choice.

Cuddly is activated by either cute things or by a male he likes. When in this mood he will cling to someone and it will be near impossible to pull him loose

Annoyed is unlocked by messing with his stuff or being a total idiot. If you activate this mode expect to never have children again.

Angry is unlocked if you really hit is nerves, it is near impossible to unlock but if you do, well nice knowing you. Your death will be slow and painful and there is nothing you can do about it. It is unknown how his is unlocked because when it is unlocked, no one ever survives.

Relationships with other units

KOOH: pervyness will be doubled and the topics will be so random that anyone else will not be able to follow. They are also know to pick on any KAORUNIWA unit together.

KAORUNIWA: will often be referred to as “boy”. KAZA unit will often smack a KAORUNIWA unit around and joking torture him. Be sure to have a doctor unit nearby to keep the KAORUNIWA unit in good condition.

ZYMES: due to them both being furry type units, expect many animals noises and other actions.

MJRN: KAZA will obey any MJRN unit, if you wish to have the most control of a KAZA unit be sure to purchase a MJRN unit

LIAH: with a MJRN unit these 3 will always get things done. though if they do not like your orders you may have a worse death than what just a KAZA unit will offer.

Most male units: KAZA unit will often hit on any other male unit.

Cleaning
KAZA will easily clean himself with his own tongue but you must make it clear to him where to bath or else he will no matter where he is. Also if you are male and wish to bath him, expect to be raped no matter who you are.

Feeding

KAZA will eat 2-3 meals a day consisting of most meat. Be sure to have potato chips on hand for when he gets the munchies to save your furniture, friends, pets, and your own skin.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: omg why am I chained to my bed and why does my butt hurt!?

A: apparently you are male and did not lock your bedroom door, your KAZA unit has cured his boredom using your body. Do not worry, you will begin to walk normally again after a few days to a week, depending on how attractive you are.

Q: My KAZA unit is demanding a frilling dress what do I do?

A: get him it if you value your fingers, he is simply trying to hit on men easier.

Q: all of my sharp objects have disappeared

A: KAZA has taken them most likely due to his swords becoming dull. We suggest you either buy the weapon expansion for your KAZA or tools to repair his swords.

Q: omg why if my family hanging outside my house dead?

A: you must of really ticked off your KAZA unit, we are sorry but there is nothing you can do, even if you try to commit suicide he will drag your soul back so he can kill you himself as painfully as possible.

We hope you enjoy you KAZA unit! (We apologize in advance any damages he may have caused and we cannot rebate you for anything that happens)
Have a nice day!
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Kazaa
Branch Head - Demon Dragons

Posts : 310
Join date : 2009-01-29
Age : 27
Location : indiana

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Re: Unit Manual

Post  Binks on Sat May 01, 2010 5:58 pm

*giggles insanely*

Basic Information


Name: Binks

Age: Unknown

Date of Manufacture: Unknown

Place of Manufacture: Chaotic Dragons Co., Near the ocean.

D.O.B: Unknown

Height: 5'4", add 6" while floating

Weight: unknown, refuses to go near a scale

Your BINKS unit will come with the following

1 Silver Lute

1 box of Much holding

5 costumes with accessories

1 Silver Needle

3 sets of reading glasses

5 journals

1 set of Artist supplies

10 sketch books


Removing your BINKS unit from his box
Be careful when opening your box, this unit gets aggravated being transported.

Programming

Your BINKS unit is programmed to do any of the following

MUSICIAN: Your BINKS unit enjoys entertaining people with singing and his lute.

RESEARCHER: Your BINKS unit will assist with any assignment requiring extensive reading and various other methods of research. All processed information will summarized by the time required.

ARTIST: Your BINKS unit will draw anything you request.

Your BINKS unit will come with the following modes

Inquisitive(Default)

Indifferent(Default)

Artist(locked)

Performer(locked)

Researcher(locked)

Protective(locked)

Annoyed(locked)

Caretaker(locked)

Random(locked)

Your BINKS unit defaults as Inquisitive and Indifferent.

Artist, Researcher, and Performer modes are easily unlocked by merely handing the unit it's provided supplies.

Protective is easily unlocked if anyone he likes or cares for are in danger. All threats will either be stopped in their tracks, or rendered trapped.

Annoyed is unlocked by being a total idiot or ignoring this unit too long. If you activate this mode expect this unit to lock itself away from you until you are deemed worthy again.

Caretaker mode can be unlocked it you have children, pets, or have purchased the SEPHIROTH, MJRN or LIAH units.


Relationships with other units


KOOH: This unit is treated with indifference, until it becomes annoying. You may find it hanging on the wall.

KAZA: If you posses both a KAZA and KOOH Unit. Do NOT leave your BINKS unit anywhere near them. EVER! On it's own, It is treated the same as the KOOH unit. If the KAZA unit attempts to hit on or hurt the BINKS unit, the KAZA unit will be locked in the Bathroom.

MJRN: Any MJRN unit is treated with respect. It will be often called Mommy-Mjrn. If this unit is found to be overworking itself, the BINKS unit it will track down it's Lute and begin to play lullabies until all other units in the area are asleep.

LIAH: This unit is treated the same as the MJRN unit. Auntie-Liah is the name this unit type is called.

SEPHIROTH: The BINKS unit considers the SEPHIROTH unit to be it's sibling, and treats the unit as such. Any teasing, injury, or any negative emotion to the SEPHIROTH unit, Protective mode will be active. Remove yourself and any family members from the house immediately.


Cleaning
BINKS will easily clean himself, merely show him where the bathroom is, but except no Hot Water.

Feeding

BINKS will eat the same thing you eat. Be sure to keep fresh tomatoes or black Licorice around if you value your junk foods.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: My BINKS unit has locked itself in the closet. How do I get it out?

A: Apparently, you either are being stupid, or you have a KOOH unit or a KAZA unit. Black Licorice or Tomatoes are a good way to help with removing annoyed mode.

Q: My BINKS unit is demanding red or black clothing items.

A: The unit is bored with his costumes, simply buying a single item should help.

Q: My KOOH/KAZA unit is duct-taped to the wall.

A: They mildly annoyed the BINKS unit. He will let them down in 2 hours.

Q: There is a strange cackling sound coming from my BINKS unit.

A: RUN! Random Mode is Unlocked. Run if you value your life. Please contact us at 1-800-xxx-xxxx for removal and reprogramming.

We hope you enjoy your BINKS unit!
Have a nice day!

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Binks
Songwriter
Songwriter

Posts : 243
Join date : 2009-01-28
Age : 32
Location : Somewhere >.>

http://dragcave.net/user/BinksTriada

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Re: Unit Manual

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