A MUST READ FOR EVERYONE

I am known as Tika Keiga. Writer, gamer, loner. I have many problems and I admit it.

All of you have problems as well. With life, with DoMO, with friends, etc.

Despite the fact I quit domo, I still hang around. And I plan on staying until my fanfic is finished. But despite me being merely an observer, somethings I can't quietly ignore anymore.

The first issue I want to cover is Emotional problems. Everyone has them, but the difference is how you deal with them. If your like me you stay quiet and keep them to yourself. Other people rage and take it out on other guildies. But you must consider something. If you decide to bring your problems into the game, you are responsible for any "drama" that forms. By choosing to connect with the game on a personal level, you will face many more issues. Sometimes you'll be ignored, other times you'll be talked back at. These are things that will happen.

If you have problems with friends on domo or in real life. DO NOT bring it to the game, if your not prepared for the consequences. I'm not saying that all responses will be bad, but experience has taught me, that most of the time they will be. If you choose to open yourself up to others, be prepared that things won't go your way. This world is unfair, and that is a law that exists here. You won't always get your way. So deal with it. If domo is causing you too much stress, then leave. Whether it's leaving the guild or leaving the game. Don't stay here and suffer.

With that said, I don't support the leaving of any guildies. When a person leaves, it makes other people feel bad. If one of your friends leave, then you either ask for help to deal with it, or you move on. Don't take it out on other people. For example. Say if they left because of an argument with an Elder. Don't get pissed at that elder, if you don't know the facts. Know the situation before you say something you might regret.

The second issues I want to address is friendship. You rely on a person. Whether in real life or in game. You run to them for help and advice. They help you out, and get over the problem. That is where some people end that. But if the person you rely on comes to you for help. You better god damn help them. If they take the time to listen to you, you listen to them back. That's what friendship is. If you don't help the people that help you, then your the problem. If you don't want to deal with other people's problem, then don't ask for help from others. It goes both ways.

If a person has the courage to tell you they have a problem. They are opening themselves up to you for help. If you can't take the time to help someones who trusts you enough to do this, then you don't deserve them as a friend. People like you sicken me. You assume everyone will help you, because your hurting, then you go and turn away those who need help. Next time you want to ask for help, think again. If you haven't given help to others, then don't bother. You don't deserve to be helped, or worse then the people who piss you off.

This is for all ELDER, BRANCH HEADS AND CHAIRPERSON. You people are the last stand who keep this guild together. Your jobs are HELPing guildies, NOT just raising money, fame, and items for the bank. You have a position of power, you have responsibility. But you all want the power without the responsiblility. IT DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY. If you want power, you must earn it. It doesn't matter what your doing, or if your busy. If a guildie needs help, you god damn help them. You are in the position where people rely on you. You either help them, or you give up your title.

This goes for anyone with power. If you can't deal with those they would rely on you, then don't step up to take the position. If you want the trust, then fucking earn it. None of you are innocent of what I'm saying. NONE of you. When people come to you for help, and you say "It'll all work out." and brush them off, there's a problem.

ALL OF YOU know what I'm saying. Because I've heard these problems from all of you. Stop being selfish, and help for once.

With all that said, I'm offering help for any emotional problems you guys have. I'm always sitting in the cottage on domo. If you have a problem, feel free to discuss it with me. I will not judge your opinions. But if you come to me, I will try to help you. As long as we can talk it out. I will not help with domo related stuff, like elder scrolls and crap. I merely am gonna help with emotional problems.

I'm always sitting in cottage, and I'm always set to busy. So whisper me, or I won't notice you trying to contact me. If I don't answer for five minutes, then try again. I won't avoid you. But don't bug me with pointless problems that a ten year old could figure out.

-Signed, Tika Keiga, an Observer

I agree with your post in the fullest. I don't know a lot of the problems that happen with people in CD but... I definitely can respect this request. I had a similar problem this summer in Surreal... and unfortunately I took it out on them, and I regret it fully.

Peace has since been made, and I've learned better than to bring real life with me into the game, but I hope that all of you can hear what Tika is saying, understand it, and respect it.


Perhaps I have no right to speak on this since I'm new to the guild, but I believe Tika's message is worth reading and taking into account. (And I'll read this again and make sure I didn't miss the message that was meant for me )

Tika's message just goes to show, that anything that happens in guild, happens to almost EVERYONE.

A very wise person once told me, that Anything you do, ALWAYS affects others.

Whether you know that person well or not, your actions will always affect someone. Positive or negative.

DoMO is a game, and for some of us we still enjoy playing it. For some of us we stay around because of the friendships we have made though we may not care for playing Domo anymore.

At times it can be difficult to separate your real life issues from the game, especially when Domo causes us to have to socialize with others. Some of us may not think of it when we bring our issues into the game. Yet when we are hurting, for some of us there is one thing that we desperately need.

Attention.

I believe every person has a need and a RIGHT for attention. Sometimes some of us cannot always give attention to others especially times when we want the attention ourselves. Some may desire it more than others.

I might be straying from Tika's main issue here, but you all probably heard this before: We are all human, we make mistakes. Domo is a game meant to entertain us, nowadays it has turned into a bit of a drama zone. Unfortunately things like this happens, it's a natural occurrence in life. It's just how we as individuals DEAL with that drama. It shows the kind of person we are.

I think life would be a little boring if we didn't have challenges to make us think and work hard.

Also, on the case of helping...."We're all in this together" as the common saying goes. You as a member of this guild, joined a group that works in unity, as a democracy. So while most of the responsibility lies on the Elders, Branch Heads and Leaders of this guild, they also need the help of the MEMBERS to lay the foundation and give feedback to our leaders so they know if they are doing their job RIGHT. They are people too, they do NOT need to be given commands about what to do, but just to have pointed out what they are doing wrong so they can do their best to correct their mistakes.

We all try to work to help each other, I know almost all of the Elders and Branch Heads have been trying to work their BUTTS OFF to try and arrange events and groups to help the members.

On the issue of HELP, the most main idea here is to help members with THE GAME. However as leaders, we cannot help you with your personal issues unless you SPEAK UP and make your problems known. Most of the time we will rely on people we are closer to in order to get emotional help.

Unfortunately we're all not professional therapists here to help you with your problems but believe me when I say that I know that there are some of us who will really try our best to help you the best we can.

However if it comes to a personal issue, I believe the people involved should talk to each other directly to sort out the problem, and NOT INVOLVE OTHERS WHO DO NOT DESERVE TO BE INVOLVED.

Unfortunately like I said above, one's actions will always affect others and others might get involved that might make the problem worse. We don't want that to happen, yet sometimes others will try their best to help. However we should respect the original parties involved in the problem should they say that you should not get involved.

If you feel that you are not getting the help you want, then I'm sorry but we can only do so much over an online game. Sometimes text is not enough than the aid of a real live person. So that is why it is better to keep those issues out of game as much as possible.

We are only here (at least try) to have fun.

I agree with everything that's been said thus far and there is very little to add.

One thing that's hard about DoMo is you never, ever know what's going on behind closed doors. You never know of things people are doing in PM and whisper becuase well, no one else can see it, and I know for one most of my problems I prefer to stay that way.

But then there's a fine line. People ask to know about certain things that may affect your mood, but they if you tell them and they don't respect it, what is one to do? It's a choice of either snapping on someone who's been giving you a hard time that day, and being called an attention seeker by uncaring people. This is an issue almost every person of position and active memeber of the guild has been through at one time.

There's two things that need to imporve greatly:

Firstly is the correct way to express and respond about certain issues. Some things need to get out, or as we know from past experiences it can just build up and pop or that topic could accidentally get brushed. That's the person's responsiblity to tell people, but it's also people's jobs to respond appropriatly. A whole choir of the most blissful condolence ever heard to man? No it's not needed, but do show some respect and condolence, a person who offers and tries is better than someone who doesn't.

Secondly is the realization of yes, you are not the only person in the world, and you do not know everything that is going on. Some people choose to tell lots about their real life, some don't. But you must always consider the fact that someone is behind helped behind closed doors and may not be avaliable. So if you have a problem and if someone doesn't answer of is busy they could be helping someone else and are spammed, they could have had a sudden brb to go do something in real life. Do us the favour and ask us again. If you have to ask more than three times then yes it's a problem, but we are human and we do miss things.

You cannot please everyone, if you try you will die trying, trust me. It has to be a mutual respect that people will repect other problems by listening and keeping a secret which brings me to...

Dammit if someone asks you to keep something slient do it. I've gotten in trouble by a certain ex elder because of complaints, or issues from another guildie and I kept their identity hidden by request. If they ask you to keep it hidden you have no right to a)tell anyone or b) pressure another people to give their idenitiy.

In the end it's a two way street that boils down to respect.

I agree with everything that has been said here.....except for a tiny bit at the end...

Mjrn wrote:

If they ask you to keep it hidden you have no right to a)tell anyone or b) pressure another person to give their identity.

Well as I'm sure no one else would see it this way, everyone has a right to do what they like. Instead this would be a betrayal of trust not that they don't have a right to spill a secret. Once someone tells you to keep something a secret, it instantly makes you involved in the situation. You are doing that person or possibly several people a favor by keeping something quiet, you are not bound by anything to keep a secret, its just a matter of do you want to betray someone's trust and tell other people what they don't want others to know.


I know what you are trying to say, but not everyone thinks the same....what one considers justice, can also be seen as evil by another person...

Karasukira wrote:

I know what you are trying to say, but not everyone thinks the same....what one considers justice, can also be seen as evil by another person...

I know that, but it's something people need to understand to cease this relentless gossiping. We all have to be on the same page, or very close to it. Not keeping your mouth shut when you're told something in pirvacy is a main factor to this drama. I know some people don't understand, others don't want to and others don't care.

For those who don't know, quite of this started because certain people couldn't keep their mouth shut. No only did this humilate the person in whatever their secret was, it broke the trust in that person which caused them to usually keep things bottled inside which then caused the whole seperation of people.

I'll be honest I laughed when we used to do guild therapy, and other things of the sort. Not all, but most of the people who offered their help ended up being the ones that were the loud speakers. It's ironic but really scary becuase if you're new and don't know anyone and there's this person offering to help, then gossips about it on vent, or in chat causing a complete trust break.

Of course there's other factors, but this files as a pretty big one.

Well,everything here seems covered.I actually,had to read things quite a few time.Just to see the points.Which every post does have a point...Tika's,Celica's,Mjrn's and Kara's.So really it just leaves me to a few sayings that people can think on,or take with a grain of salt.

"Trust is a two way street."

"People usually mirror how they are,when approached."

"So long as I am true to myself,I have nothing to be ashamed of."

"Karma,what goes around comes around.So treat people how you want to be treated no matter how big or small a situation is."

I think those are quotes people can really value and try to consider.Of course like Kara said,it's up to the individual themselves how they wanna go about it once knowing.So it's like I said,take it how you will,but remember these quotes benefit how most people will respond with before it happen,when it happens and forms a future event.